Why does he do this ?

Question

Every time I have a problem with my boyfriend he always deflects and says things like "Im sorry Im such an asshole" or something like that or "Wow I feel like a dick right now" and to me it feels like hes trying to guilt me or make me feel bad when i never called him an asshole? And i always explain just because i talk about something i dont like, doesnt mean im directly attacking him but he doesnt seem to get it. I feel like i cant say anything or bring up any relationship issues because of it. Im not trying to nitpick him its genuine things I have a problem with that bother me.

Answer

My bf did this a couple times in the beginning of the relationship. I always responded with “if you really feel like a asshole or bad person then maybe it’s for a reason and you should reflect on your behavior cuz you came to that conclusion yourself. I’m just telling you how I feel” he rarely does this anymore and our communication has improved sooo much

Answer

My boyfriend does this too. But he also has a few mental health issues, so he’s extremely sensitive. I would try to talk to him and explain how it makes you feel and talk about a better way to talk things through with each other

Answer

This is a typical manipulation tactic; he starts playing the victim and then all of a sudden, you’re the one apologizing and feeling bad for him, and you don’t understand why you’re apologizing when he was the one that messed up in the first place and he doesn’t take accountability for his actions. It’s called gaslighting. Be careful.

Answer

Sounds like manipulation to me

Why does he do this ?

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