Not 100% this is sexual abuse but it is good to talk about.

Hello,

I’m not sure how to start this but. When I was around 11-13, I was with a 17-19 year old man. Since I was young, I was dumb enough to listen to his rants on how life would get better. And that he would take me away and keep me as a house wife and etc. I felt really. Attracted to this person. But once he noticed I had complete trust in him...he started asking for pictures...

pictures of me at school naked. Or just of my body in general.

But one day he asked if I could put something in my v for his pleasure. I was still a Virgin and didn’t quiet understand what was going on. But in my brain at the time, I thought this is what couples do right?

He asked me to take a recorder and to put it inside of myself. I did it and it hurt so much. But he wanted pictures. And even said how much he enjoyed the blood and etc. after that things got worse. He kept asking for pictures and etc. and they got more aggressive after a while. Finally he broke up with me for no reason and I found out he was with someone else now. His age (luckily). But later around 15-16, he started messaging me again. Asking for pictures and etc. and I still felt the urge of keeping this person happy. Even my boyfriend today thinks that he brainwashed me to do anything he wanted.

Either way. I still send them with no hesitation.

To this day, I go to therapy to try to get over it. But it is still a large burden on me.

I’m not 100% percent sure this is sexual abuse but. I wanted to talk about it and to get advice.

Thank you.