So my MIL decided to take the lead on my baby shower, and started planning (guest lists) before I was out of my first trimester. I love my MIL, but this whole thing is stressing me out. She finally contacted my mom to try to coordinate, and she told my mom she was looking at at least $30/head for a baby shower of 60ish people. Apparently she is pretty set at having at the golf course down near her home, which is run by a company which owns several golf courses and specializes in event planning (think country club weddings). She is wanting to have a full sit down meal plus alcohol. Now my family is not very big, and we are certainly more low key - so this is really stressing my mom out as a co-host. However, my mom has a hard time just saying no because she doesn't want to come across as cheap. Further, my MIL has admitted that the reason she feels compelled to have such a nice shower is a sort of "keeping up with the jones" feeling she has with some of her family. I would be totally happy with something more traditional and low key (think appetizers and cake). Plus, I feel like it is such a huge waste of money!! If people feel compelled to spend that much money please spend it on the baby, not on a party that will only last a couple hours. I tried to enlist my husband's help - but he is just as bad. Saying it is the first grandkids and if they want a big party he isn't going to intervene, plus he is annoyed with me for trying to help my mom navigate the situation. Ugh. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, because I am hugely grateful - I know I am privileged to have such an amazing family who are all so thrilled and eager to celebrate our little girl. However, I just feel like it is so stressful for everybody that it is taking the fun out of it, plus it just feels like too much. Thoughts?