Hi ladies, after reading lots of posts on here of people asking for advice with their husband, bf , baby daddy , in-laws , etc. I thought maybe you guys could help me too. The reason I’m looking to here for advice is because I feel like I need an objective opinion. All my family and friends very much dislike my baby daddy which is understandable after I explain everything so I can’t really turn to them for non biased advice.

Anyway, when I found out I was pregnant, me and my daughters dad had just broken up. He wasn’t working and living with his mom and I just finished my freshman year of college but he really advocated that I keep her and that he would have “9 months to figure it out”. It ended up being the best decision in the world but scared me to death at the time. A couple months later of minimal contact, he reached out to me and we tried things again. I was just starting my sophomore year and still living in the dorms because we are required to. He was in my hometown which is about 2.5 hours away. Things were going well but eventually he got kicked out of his moms. He was about to be homeless so I told him he could come stay with me on the condition that he got a job.He ended up getting a job working nights and living together was ok. I paid for a lot and drove him to work and picked him up at 5am every other day. but we were excited for our daughter and we even took some parenting classes (in hindsight i think he just did this stuff bc he knew i wanted him to be excited not bc he really was)

Eventually tho things started to go south, I can’t even tell you guys how many times we broke up and got back together, threatened to leave, got in screaming matches, it was really bad. He even got violent a couple times which resulted in cops being called twice. The second time was the worst. Just to give you the full picture I’ll explain the whole fight: It was thanksgiving break and we were going to drive back to our hometown that night and i was packing to leave. My dorm was maybe 9 x 9 ft room with a small hallway and a bathroom so it got messy easily. I was 6 months pregnant at the time and he promised me he’d help clean up. When the time came he picked up maybe 2 things and then left the rest to me. He just laid on the bed on his phone and when i got mad he ignored me and put in his headphones, (i know this wasn’t right of me) but in anger i ripped them out. and he hit me in the face. (again this was wrong of me) but I hit him back on his thigh. I went to walk out of the room bc I just wanted to get away from the situation and he came after me and grabbed my hair and pulled me back, scratching the top of my back in the process. I then told him to leave my dorm bc I didn’t feel safe. with a lot of arguing he finally left and on his way out took my phone without me knowing. anyways long story short he wouldn’t give it back and i called the campus police just so i could get my phone back and they saw my face was red and told me they had to arrest him whether i wanted to press charges or not.

so he went to jail for about 2 weeks. during that time i went through his phone and stuff and found out he was sexting other girls the whole time he was living with me. While he was in jail he was always calling me. ( i know i shouldn’t have but i felt guilty putting him in there and he promised me he would never cheat again lmao) he convinced me to pay his bail to get out. then we resumed life together. He couldn’t stay at the dorm anymore so he went back to our hometown a couple days later. he told me how in jail he had time to think and was going to be so much better, even talked about getting me a promise ring. WELL the first day he went home he HAD SEX with another girl and said he didn’t know how to tell me he didn’t want to be w me 🤦🏻‍♀️

Guess what, I even took him back after that. And that was my whole pregnancy up until the last 8 weeks maybe. It was him treating me like shit and me still wanting things to work out. It was very sad and i did A LOT for him and it took a lot out of me. I felt like crap, insecure and betrayed, all while i’m supposed to be focusing on my pregnancy. but like i said, about 8 weeks or so before my daughter was born I decided we would be nothing more than parents and any hopes of a relationship was dead.

So her birth comes and he misses it bc it was such a short labor and he was at work (i didn’t really want him there anyway) but he comes to visit every day in the hospital and then every week he comes to see her at my house and facetime everyday until about 4 weeks. THEN he got a new girlfriend and completely stopped asking to see her, and started claiming that we needed a dna test done bc she wasn’t his 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️ anyways he stopped caring about her except for the dna test and I don’t want it done so he could potentially get custody so i just blocked him.

so now its been 2 months after he’s last seen her and he asked me on his friends phone how she’s doing and how i’m doing. I guess my question for you guys is, is it wrong that i don’t want him to be in her life at all. I struggle with that everyday, am i doing the right thing, am i really protecting her, is she going to hate me later in life, am i taking away his right to see his child idk. i’ve just been blocking him out of my life and hers lately but i struggle with if it’s best for her. I just don’t want him to hurt her like he’s hurt me or disappoint her with empty promises and such. but is it fair to assume he will treat her like he treated me?

i’m so sorry for how long this is. if you stuck through till the end and are willing to give me advice I appreciate it so so much.