Hi! So, long story short, my mom passed away September 24 so I’ve been without her for 7, almost 8, months. She was my absolute best friend in the whole world.

I guess I’m just struggling really badly right now. I was depressed before where I would think about killing myself but knew I could NEVER do that to my family, let alone my mom and it kills me to think the last way she’s ever going to remember me is this depressed piece of shit that can’t even keep it together long enough to make it through the day. However my depression has gotten waaaay worse...now I’ve thought of ways to leave this world and figured out days that I could do it where I would be home alone for a long time and nobody would be home to stop me. Needless to say, it’s been really scary.

I just want to be okay again. I just want to live my life without crying every day or thinking I don’t deserve to live. At this point, I really really don’t deserve anything — I don’t deserve my friends, my sister and dad, my niece, my dog, none of it. I just miss my mom.

Does anyone have any natural ways to “”cure”” depression? I’ve only been told weed and edibles but the thought of that scares me only because it’s not legal where I live and I’m terrified of getting caught.