Y’all okay so when I tell u I’m in LOVE

So I met my boy in September of last year this is my longest relationship so far (I’m 19 and he’s 21). He’s been in two very serious very long term relationships and even lived with his ex in the same ROOM he lives in now. But anyways that not the point.

So we bang almost every time we hang out. It wasn’t until like four or five months of dating that we had a day where we DIDNT make like rabbits. And the sex is so good because well I love him and it gives my heart a boner too but he is

So

VANILLA.

When I lost my virginity a couple years ago I realized how therapeutic stuff like BDSM or power role play could be for me. Sex has always been more than just sex to me even when it was casual. Lately our spark has been very very very slowly diminishing. We haven’t experimented at ALL our whole relationship (other than twice we used some rubber hand cuffs)

My boyfriend is also very shy. Always looking for me to make decisions, I even pay for our dates most of the time (which is really just buying us both fast food and watching Netflix at his house). I don’t mind either of those things in fact his softness is part of the reason I’m in love with him. But I need the sex to do more than five my heart a boner, I need it to free my mind.

He’s such a passive lover. Usually I say I love you first. He doesn’t compliment me unless he’s asked to do so, and it’s very difficult to get him to communicate his needs. I’ve spoken to him about all of this before but it seems like he doesn’t take the convo seriously.

So how do I tell the LOML that I need him to love me harder without pushing him away?