Today’s my due date.

AJ • 29• TTC since May 2018 •MC 10.5.18. & 3.25.19• simply want my 🌈 baby.

Needless to say today has been a struggle. I’ve teared up several times and just feel this big empty hole.

I should have had a baby this week. Today was my due date. I should be holding my own baby in my arms instead of visiting the countless friends and co workers who were also pregnant at the same time.....

But today I am doing none of those things. Today I am empty.

I got pregnant again 4 months after my miscarriage, and sadly miscarried again. I will have to face another due date in the future. Will it get easier? Probably not.

I kept telling myself today would be better if I had another baby on the way but I don’t, and that just makes me feel that emptiness inside. That longing to be a mom that I feel like is an eternity away.

So here I am sharing my feelings because not many of my friends or those around me know either about my miscarriage or knew what today’s date meant to me... and I needed to share it somewhere with someone. 💔