I’ve been keeping up with my grades all year but this past like 2 months I slipped because I got stressed out with the SAT shit and I slacked. I’ve been working very hard and brought up all my grades but 2 of them and I’m still bringing the last 2 up. I’ve been working nonstop so I can graduate not for others but for myself because I want my diploma and also want to do it for my grandpa who passed and for my aunt and uncle who are flying here to watch me graduate. I’m working hard and not once has she told me “good job” which is all I want to hear cuz yes I know it’s my fault I slipped but everyone knows my struggles and here’s my story

3 years ago freshman year I went in ready to start high school. I passed the first semester, but my grandpa passed away. He was my dad basically and I took it hard and stopped trying. I went into 10th grade saying I’d try hard and I just didn’t. At the end of 10th grade I failed basically all of 10th. 11th grade I switched to online and I passed all of my classes last year. I’ve passed all of my classes last semester for my senior year and I’ve almost got all my grades up to passing and one of my grades is actually a 90%. I’m very stressed out and all my mom does is scream at me about how I should’ve kept up with my grades and I wouldn’t be so stressed out. It’s like I know that and I’m not proud but when I get in a bad mental state it’s hard to focus. But the point is that I’m busting my ass and trying as hard as I can. My teachers will tell me good job, my family will. But my mom won’t.

Honestly it’s a big deal cus my dad isn’t in my life so my moms my only parent. I love her very much. But our relationship is horrible. We’ve gone to family therapy and it helps a little but I’m gonna be honest and say that it’s a lot to do with my mom. I think she’s got a lot of pent up anger in her and has been hurt a lot cus everyone in my family can see how ill just ask a question or I’ll say something funny and she screams at me. Today she told me I hurt her every day with my attitude. But I don’t have attitude every day. There’s a lot of days where I wake up in a good day and she will scream at me for nothing. She takes her anger out on me. I’m not gonna lie and say that I’m perfect cuz yes sometimes I have attitude but im a hormonal girl with depression so sometimes I say stuff I don’t mean or sometimes I’m just aggravated. She thinks everyone’s against her and despite her friends and family telling her that we aren’t she just won’t admit that she has an issue with anger and obviously depression too. She thinks telling me “you aren’t gonna graduate and aunt Beth and uncle Todd are coming here for no reason” is motivation. It’s not. I’ve told her countless times over the years if she’d just praise me for the good work I’ve done and say “you’re doing great keep it up” would help. I’m not asking for much.

She’s paying for a car and my first 2 years of college and I’ve been telling her nonstop that I’m gonna do monthly payments to buy the car off of her so she’s gonna get her money back and I’ve applied to a scholarship to get her money off of college. I tell her I appreciate her but she doesn’t believe and when we argue she calls me ungrateful even tho I’m not. Honestly I can’t wait to move out cuz I’m 100% sure that’ll help our relationship. I want my mom to go to therapy and get help for her anger. I need therapy too. But really both of us do.