I am stronger now!
I know that people are going to hate on this, but this was the hardest thing I ever did and I believe I made the right choice.
3 years ago, I was 18, I just met a guy that I thought amazing! He was kind, funny and he made me feel so safe. One month later I found out I was pregnant, 2 days later I found out that his girlfriend was pregnant (this was how I found out I was the other woman).
After that I found out he was also dealing drugs and I had been to prison, he had lied about EVERYTHING. Still, I had his baby growing inside of me and had to make a decision.
At the time I was working in a pub, I didn’t get maternity leave, I was on minimum wage and still living with my mum.
I congratulate women that can do it this way, but for me, I couldn’t. I cried myself to sleep every night and though regularly about suicide.
I stopped talking to the dad because of the amount of abuse I was getting from him, he told me that if I didn’t get an abortion then he would repeatedly throw me down the stairs until I lost the baby.
I made my decision that I couldn’t be a single mum on minimum wage and having mental health issues already, that’s not the way I want to raise my child. (Congrats to anyone that has)
I went for my appointment and asked if I could have a copy the ultrasound picture to keep, my mum told me that it was the worst thing I could do. But I did anyway.
The pain I went through and am still going through is unbearable, but lucky, I changed my life around and the pain is slowly easing. I met the most amazing man that would never lie or hurt me, we are now trying for our first child and I couldn’t be happier!!!
I told him everything that I went through and the only thing he said to me was “You’re so strong”, no judgement at all!
I still have my ultrasound picture in my night stand with a book that I write my feelings down and favourite poems. I go through it almost every night.
I know that for me it was the right choice and I know now that I am ready to be the best mum I can be.
I named him William Paul so I am hoping for a boy to call him Louie William ❤️❤️❤️❤️