Miscarriage

Miscarriage

My ring finally came in the mail today and I'm just so happy.

Six months ago, my boyfriend and I found out that we were expecting, along with shock and nervousness came so much happiness and exitment we had the best six weeks after finding out, looking at cribs, car seats and all the cute little clothes, telling our parents and close friends and seeing how excited they all were for us. We would stay up at late talking about all the things we needed to do to ensure that our child would have the best life possible.

At our first appointment I was so nervous, we went in and had an ultrasound, we saw the baby and even got to hear/see the heart beat!

Two weeks later, and we went in eager to see our baby again only to find out that it stopped growing two days prior. I felt my heart drop into my stomach and have never felt so much emotional pain in my whole life. Three days later I had to have a procedure to get everything taken care of. Along with the recovery from that physically came the recovery emotionally and mentally.

The last 4-5 months have been so hard, crying when I'm driving, crying in the shower, crying at just the thought of "I would be this many weeks today" or "Today is when we would've found out the babys gender" Every baby I'd see I would cry, my boyfriend tried to be strong for me but he was also trying to deal with this loss. All people would say is "well you can always just get pregnant again" or "at least you know you can get pregnant" or "everything happens for a reason" blah blah blah

I had so much anger and sadness in me and over time, him and I were pushing each other away and bickering over every little thing. Apparently, 22% of couples who experience a pregnancy loss are more likely to break up. The truth is, is that you never really know what someone is going through so be kind to everyone.

It took me five months to come out of my sadness and to realize that there are brighter days ahead. I get to look forward to having my rainbow baby. Don't get me wrong, I still think about it, just not as often and it still hurts but it just hurts a little less.

Recently being told by my coworkers and friends that I look genuinely happy is one of the best compliments that I could ever receive. When I look at this ring it makes me so happy knowing I'll forever have my angel baby.👼🏼💞