Feeling alone after another BFN

So I woke up needing to pee at 5:30am and given that AF was scheduled for today I thought I would take a pregnancy test. The test was a BFN but when I wiped (TMI warning) there were two thin strands for blood with the CM. I’ve never had that before. Has another else had that?

I had a chemical pregnancy in November and I’ve not been able to get pregnant since. I’m so desperate for a baby. I went back to bed to sleep obviously really upset about the test and then dreamt I was going through my miscarriage all over again (the bleeding at work).

I want a baby so desperately but I’m really struggling mentally and emotionally with the monthly disappointment. I’m basically sitting downstairs not wanting to sleep and relive my most painful experience and waiting for AF to fully show up I feel so alone.