What have I done wrong?

I always dreamt of having lots of kids. I love them. However, after I’ve had my first. I’m so scared to have more. My little one just turned one and has been very difficult.

After 3 months, she made strange with everyone and nobody can hold her or stay with her. She cried all the time as a baby and was never happy. Even now at one year old, she will just scream and cry all the time even with her needs all met. She clings to me and never wants me to put her down. Unfortunately, I can’t just hold her all the time or I can’t have a life. She is sleeping through the night now but just started. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night just to play for a couple hours. I’m drained.

Is this ever going to get easier? I’ve always wanted more kids but I don’t know how I can do this again. It’s so hard going to play dates and my one year old is always the one screaming and crying because she hates everything. What have I done wrong?