i’m not sure where else to post this but it’s been on my mind a lot recently and i’d like to share. hopefully someone can offer advice.

i’ve been blessed to recently turn 18 but the past year was the hardest one of my life. a lot of emotionally damaging things happened to me over that time and i chose to not cope with those things in a healthy way. instead, i turned to every other form of distraction: validation from guys, unhealthy attention, overeating, vaping, and finally weed.

i reached a point (up until very recently) at which i couldn’t go a day without smoking, sometimes multiple times a day. i went to school and work, hung out with friends, met new people, and spent time with my family all while stoned. i didn’t even function well while high, but i grew addicted to the feeling.

while i was high, i escaped all my emotions that had been weighing heavy on my shoulders for months before. i smoked with guys from school and it made me feel more accepted now that i was known as just another person who smoked.

a little less than a month ago, i finally took into account what the people who cared about me had been saying for such a long time - this wasn’t the answer. in my case, weed was holding me back. it was a mask i put on to hide the utter pain, bitterness, and frustration i dealt with every single day.

it’s been almost two weeks since i smoked. it’s not much, the cravings have been strong - but i don’t plan on going back any time soon. going through this has made me want to help others who are experiencing the same thing i was.

i really want to help people for a living and this is something i would love to explore more deeply. right now, i have no idea if anyone will see this or care, but if i could turn it into something bigger, nothing would make me happier. i don’t know where to start, so some guidance would be appreciated. i’d also love to hear anyone else’s points of view or similar experiences.