Ladies, I need advice.

My husband is lovely and we are so in love with each other and so respectful towards one another, it’s a beautiful relationship. But I’m having an issue and I don’t know how to address it.

He has severe depression, low testosterone, and high estrogen levels, clinically measured. This makes him moody, grumpy, angry with anything and everything, mood swings like a teenage boy. It makes him tired ALL THE TIME. It makes him not want sex, hardly ever. We have sex about 2-3 times a week, on a good week. That’s decent for us, but I never finish, and he seems so uninterested until it’s actually happening. I initiate, or ask, 9/10 times. I have a much higher sex drive.

A little conversation in the past has led him to start taking his time with foreplay on me, but at the beginning of our relationship he used to make sure I finished multiple times before we had sex. Now, I have to ask to even have sex in the first place, like it’s exhausting for him. Typically the answer is “but... I’m so tired babe... but I really love you”. We don’t do anything else, he never wants anything else. He could be laying in bed with a boner, I ask, and he still not want it. I could be standing naked in front of him, him hard, and he STILL tell me to put clothes on. He never does anything himself, he doesn’t get time to, and I know for a fact that he isn’t cheating on me. This post is for those who can provide advice on depression and testosterone affects in men, and for me to rant!

I don’t know what’s going on ladies. It’s like the depression hit and he just doesn’t want anything. He’s still all over me in other ways, showing me all sorts of affection by loving on me outwardly, just not as sexual as we used to be. I’ve tried talking, yelling, crying, and he just says he is too tired all the time and depressed, doesn’t want sex as often as I do. We are young, and I keep getting told we should be all over each other. I don’t know what to do anymore, but I’m hoping someone has experienced this too. He may not find this as much a problem as I am.

We rarely argue or have very many heated conversations, we are respectful and love is not lacking in any other area. I have spoken with him about this, but maybe I am going about it wrong or during a bad time. We are each other’s first and only partners (that is something very special for us) with no experience ever before we met. Also, he has no problems obtaining an erection, most of the time he gets one and ignores it these days. Sex is typically quick, and he’s embarrassed by this every time, but I always encourage regardless. Once we have started he’s amazing in bed, but it’s getting him to that point and crave it like I do that is not happening.