What to do

I have been married for almost 5 years now and I got married 2 months after I turned 18 and I was ok with it then I found out I was pregnant with a sweet baby boy and everything was great then a few years go by and things started to het kinda rocky we spent up tryed to see other people got back together few months went by everthing was good then found out I was pregnant again with a sweet baby boy and then we spent again seen other people didnt work we got back together and it was ok and now it just feels like there is nothing there I have days were I am happy with my life and who I'm married to and other days I dont even know who he is and then there are days were I hate him and I want a new start I know a relationship isnt going to be 100% every day but he makes me feel like I'm a single mom and that I'm nothing I just dont know what to do i don't want a divorce but I also dont want to spend my whole life with some one that dont make me happy and with some who I have to hide my really self bc I'm scared it will make him mad