Terrified this time around

rose

I had a mmc in march ended up getting a d&e because my babys heart stopped weeks before we ever found out and I was at risk for infection. I had a midwife who at my problem appointment disregarded my concern until she couldn't find the baby on the u/s machine. I should have been 11weeks. We waited a cycle then stopped being careful but werent actively trying, I'm still healing mentally. I have been so tired, nauseous, boobs hurting, bloating, and the headaches have been unreal. I just knew, my period is due tomorrow, same time as the last pregnancy positive test at 3w6d. Im scared to be happy. I'm scared to tell anyone. I also feel bad cause I have to bail on my friend we were supposed to go out to the bar this weekend, and idk what to tell her. We both experienced a loss around the same time, she may not have been trying and always says she doesn't want children, but I know that didn't make it any easier on her mental health. I know if I tell her she will understand but I really am just not ready.

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