Alrighty, here it goes me admitting there’s a problem. I’ve always dealt with anxiety and depression at least since my teens. Dealt with PPD after my first, during my second pregnancy got put on an antidepressant again, and been on it since as they wanted me to stay on it to try to get ahead on my PPD just in case. I’ve always questioned my mental health, but I think admitting it to a professional is just hard to me. I have attachment issues, everyone in my life has always walked out so I live assuming everyone even my kids will decide they hate me and leave so I’m scared to get too attached. And says that out loud makes me feel so stupid.

I have these thoughts that everyone I talk to or even being on the same isle as someone in the grocery store everyone is judging me, disliking me, I know that’s stupid and nobody is worried about me but I can’t stop the thoughts. I have a wonderful husband and I’m thankful he’s got a good enough job that I can stay home with our kids, because sometimes the thoughts and my feels are crippling and I don’t know if I’d be able to maintain a steady job. But my thoughts screw me up and I get scared I’m too trusting of him.

I have what almost feel like compulsions, since as long as I can remember, picking at skin, scabs, finger nails, my lips, anything I can. It makes me feel better when I do it until immediately after I feel gross, and the thoughts start back about being judged.

But idk, I just feel like maybe all of this stuff is me over reacting and the doctors will tell me nothing is wrong other than my normal anxiety/depression and there’s nothing that can help my other issues and make me feel normal.

Someone give me some advice, good vibes, something if you’ve read this to the end. Thank you in advanced.