New beginning/Venting

Tanikqua

I kind of feel like expressing myself a bit. I have decided to start my locs. I’m really excited about this journey and experiencing a long dedicated relationship with my hair. I didn’t want to start them with me being stressed about school or other relationships. During my sophomore year I got cheated on, on my birthday cut me pretty deep. I spiraled down I stopped going to class and slept all day being depressed about a guy that obviously didn’t care about me. My best friend helped me. She made me realize I shouldn’t put my mind, body and soul on the line, with idiotic guys that don’t value me as much as I do them. Once I picked myself up and got my grades up I felt accomplished and even forgave the bastard. Still I was nervous about my grades but I did fairly well. I started my locs for me. I love what they represent of course many people have different representations. For me my locs represent wisdom and strength it’s a symbol every day that I’ve come a long way. It’s a reminder that I am in control. For once I feel like I’m on the right path. For years I’ve been angry and I never knew the reason. A weight feels like it’s been lifted. I’ve let go of every negative energy inflicted around me and in me. I’ve been upset with being an introvert and not being able to meet friends and keep them. I’ve been upset with not finding someone that loves me for me. I’ve been angry with the loss of my mother at such a young age. I’ve been angry with losing people and not knowing how to express my feelings. And all of that anger is over with. I’m not afraid to be alone and find myself and actually understand the depths of my thoughts and ideas. Its crazy I’ve never felt so wise as a 20 year old. As a kid I thought life would be easy. I thought by now I’d have my own place, drive a decent car, be in a loving relationship and live happily ever after. Instead I’ve grown to know that life is what you make it. There will be obstacles and there placed to make you stronger and wiser along the journey. I might not have those things just yet, but I’ve claimed them and can’t wait to possess those things and more.