I think our breastfeeding journey is finished. I’ve been weening for about 2 weeks and I think this morning was her last time getting any milk out.

My emotions are all over the place. I’m so sad but also so happy. I love our morning cuddle sessions, but today she is still cuddling me even after her bottle.

I never even googled breastfeeding before my baby was born. The first 3 months were excruciating due to undiagnosed thrush which I think I developed right away. I’ve struggled with D-MER, PPD/PPA and thrush 2 more times.

My original goal was to make it to 6 months, but when I started I could barely sit through each session. Sometimes I would just cry from the pain. My husband would try everything to make me more comfortable. It became so demoralizing I would get anxiety every time I saw she was hungry. But we kept going and we made it through.

These last 2 months I’ve had no pain. I still got then nausea and anxiety with every let down. My overall mood has still been depressed. So I decided it was time to make a change. My baby seemed just as excited for the bottle as the boob.

Just shy of 8 months today. My angel is a happy, healthy girl. I feel SO much better. No more pain, anxiety, nausea, depression. But I will still miss her snuggled up against me, eating the food I made her myself. Not sure how to feel yet.