Almost in the 2nd trimester & this pregnancy has me all over the place. With my daughter, I gained weight pretty gradually, was sick a little but manageable.

With Baby#2 I am sick & nauseous 24/7 & I just weighed myself today & realize I'm dropping pounds. I feel very dehydrated & malnourished but there's nothing I can do. Every single day I've been throwing up stomach bile which has made me completely sick with 0 appetite.

On top of all of this, I'm trying to take care of my 10 month old daughter & keep her happy.

The only thing that helps AT ALL is cannabis but I need to stop so I don't test positive at my appointments. It's a very tough & unfair situation to be in.

I use this as medicine in my every day life. Now I feel like my OB is scrutinizing me for how I manage my disorders.

I don't understand how women can smoke cigarettes throughout their entire pregnancy & get little to no consequences when cigarettes cause birth defects & harm to the baby & your body.

Cannabis has anti-inflammatory, anti-anxiety, & anti-depressant properties to it, not to mention how it takes nausea away SAFELY (unlike zofran) & actually GIVES you an appetite.

I'm just sad that I don't live in a state that recognizes cannabis for all its healing & medical properties. It's always demonized because it's illegal federally- which doesn't make sense because to classify as a Schedule 1 drug, the drug must have no medical properties. But with each state legalizing individually we are seeing the benefits & how we've been lied to about this great medicine that grows from the ground.

I'm feeling very conflicted. I was able to medicate throughout my first pregnancy with no issues. But due to "random drug testing" they told me my chart would be flagged.

It hurts as a mom, to know what's best for you, your body, & your baby but not being able to do that. They'd rather shove pills down my throat than let me treat myself.

I'm gonna try to make the switch to CBD completely but I'm very turned off by my doctors office now, I don't even want to go to any of my follow up appointments. I'm considering switching to a mid-wife but I could never deliver without an epidural.

I'm just feeling really sad, confused, & worried for my body & mentality. Sorry for the long rant, if anyone has recommendations or comments you are welcome to leave them, thank you for taking the time to read my woes 😳❤