I really am in need of some advice

I am asking here because I’m lost for words and I have heard a lot of people compare geriatric care and child care.

So really, I’m here asking for any caregiver advice, whether you are a mom, babysitter, caregiver, etc.

She is completely competent, but she’s lazy.

And she tries to pull stunts so she can continue to be lazy.

And one of the biggest things I’ve had an issue with is her bathroom habits.

In her ideal world, even tho she is completely capable of going to the bathroom, she would be in diapers so she didn’t have to get up from her shows and scream for us to run to her room to change her every time she goes.

But we make her use the toilet, because it’s cleaner and easier and she’s completely capable.

But the thing is, she doesn’t want to sit to finish pooping. Ever.

Almost every time she goes to the bathroom I have to make her sit there for extra time because she’ll tell me she’s done when she’s not. Half the time I go to wipe her, she’s practically still pooping as I wipe and I’ll have her sit longer and she’ll yell at me telling me that she’s done and she wants to go back to her room. Now, because I do make her sit longer when she poops, she will even tell me she didn’t poop (she wipes herself when she pees, but we do have to hand her toilet paper manually because she had tried making a “pad” out of a roll of toilet paper to shove in her pants at night so she didnt have to get up at night but just poop/pee into the toilet paper, which led to a hugeeee mess that was discovered the next morning), and will pull up her pants while her behind is still dirty and I have started to check the toilet to see whether or not she pooped instead of just asking.

It seems like every time I think I have the situation “figured out” she pulls some stunt or starts something new.

She’s even gone as far and trying to pretending she had dementia, waking me up multiple times in the middle of the night to ask me questions about my life (which i didn’t mind because I thought she had legitimately forgot), and then woke me up again to go to the bathroom, and tried having me leave her walker by her bed so she can get up and not have to wake me up anymore. (Which we cant do because of her bathroom habits, along with the fact she steals and she sneaks food in the middle of the night)

And I am not trying to talk ill of her, I am here to care for her and I want to make things easier for the both of us. But there’s no compromise with her. I understand I am here, in her home, and it has to somewhat stink having some person in your home telling you what you can and can’t do. At the end of the day, I want what is best for her, but there’s also no reason a full grown adult (who is completely competent, all there, etc) to behave the way she does just because she doesn’t want to miss her show or wants to go straight back to bed.

Has anyone had this issue with their kids or anyone that they have cared for?

And how did you “help it”?