Home / Community / Sex & Relationships

Need some advice (LONG STORY SRY)

Last year I ended an abuse relationship with a guy and I was pretty down about it, never wanted to leave my house, stayed home just drinking. 😔

My friends/neighbors would come check on me and they have an uncle who is my friend as well, I’ve known this guy for 10 years, neighbor, we had a good friendship calling each other “buddy”. Calling each other names/ play fighting all the time for years. But we were JUST friends. 🙅🏻‍♀️

Me and him would start snapchating each other everyday after my break up 2 months later. to the point where we would hang out again and drink together like old times.

At the same time, so many people were finding out that I was single and so many guys hitting me up.

But usually I was hanging out with buddy most of the time. Even had sleep overs at his house.

Well one night we got super drunk off tequila 🥃

And BOOM we hooked up, kissing, clothes started coming off and it was shocking!!!! My buddy 😫 woke up next to each other and we both seemed happy. Like wow, why didn’t this happen before?

Well we started just messing around, But never confirmed our relationship. We told each other that I didn’t want to be in a serious relationship right now after I just broke up with someone. And he didn’t want anything serious either.

Well one night I was going to the store with a GUY friend. (I openly admitted to buddy that this guy friend likes me. This guy is a friend of my sister and her boyfriend) we were going to the store to buy beer cause people were over the house drinking.

I guess my buddy saw me getting in the car with him cause we were going to the store. well later he posted on Snapchat that he just messed around with some girl cause she missed him and it was a picture of her in her pants and bra. Well I was so mad and crushed cause I realized I was starting to catch feelings for buddy!!

Well anyways, we talked about it and I told him nothing happened. And he told me that was just an old picture, he was just mad that he saw me going to the car with another guy who likes me. I felt like he was telling me the truth.

VVVVVVV

He still likes to mention that I fucked up by going with someone who likes me because he doesn’t know if something happened or not. I know I was wrong by not telling him that I was going to the store with another guy

Well, we’re always together. I sleep over his house almost everyday, eating everywhere, dates, always kissing, doing stuff. We’re literally together all the time.

But then again he’s always saying how we’re not officially together. And when people ask he doesn’t say we’re together, just friends. Even his family calls me his wife! And he always says I’m not

Well one night we went to the bar. I was getting my drink on 🍻 I try to flirt with my buddy but tells me to stop and stuff. A random guy, RANDOM, asks him if we’re together and he said to him NO, just friends. And I was just so upset, like whatever then,

So I was upset and I just remembered what friends would tell me “just be a hoe” after being in a fucked up relationship. So I told myself I don’t need this, 🖕🏼.

So I start flirting, trying to get buddy jealous. And I thought I looked good that night too sooooo

Well yep, I got a couple numbers, I think I just blacked out, not caring at that point.

And I went outside cause some guy what to talk to me. Well a littler later buddy walks out my car keys and my phone and leaves it on a car outside and left. I knew I went far and looked so upset at me.

Well the next day i was trying to text him and apologizing. I was bummed out in bed, still confused. Like why is he mad if we’re not together?? Are we together?? Or what if he just doesn’t want to admit his feelings?? he’s not an emotional type person. Really hard headed, but sweet when he wants to be.

I just felt so bad for acting like that, but I felt like I had my reasons.

Well that same day my EX showed up at my house 🤯🤯🤯🤯 he wanted me back but I told him no. He was legit there for 30 mins just talking and downstairs my buddy and my mom were talking and my mom turns and asked me “did ___ leave?” I told her yes and buddy had this look on his face 😩😩😩

Like woooowwww.... I didn’t get to tell him myself. It all happened so fast!!!!

We argued so much about that 😩🖕🏼

Well all that happened before April and since then I’ve just been a good girl. Ignoring guys, trying to just be with him all the time.

Well i cant joke around with him about another girl cause he’ll start saying shit about all the things I’ve done.

I keep telling him, that he keeps saying that we’re not “official”

And he keeps saying that really that gives you the right to act like a hoe?

Telling me that, we’re talking, I shouldn’t even be trying to get attention from other guys, that’s why he won’t commit cause he doesn’t trust me.

I understand where he’s coming from and I know I did go for on the bar night. But since the beginning of the “relationship” he always said to me and everyone were “just friends.”

I have a lot of patience but I feel like he goes too far sometimes on telling me what I do wrong when I’ve been trying to change.

When we argue, I stay at home and think so much. Then he usually tells me that I was away cause I was with another guy. Like boooyyyy I wanna slap you 😫 he just ALWAYS has something to say!!