In a couple of days it will be 3 months since Hazel left the NICU. It was the hardest thing I went through. I didn’t get the baby shower or the maternity pictures. I didn’t get the First latch or hold. SO wasn’t even able to hold her after she was born to take our picture. When we did take the picture I barely remember it cause i was passing out from losing blood. I didn’t get to see her for two days. When I did it was like the first time seeing her. I pumped and pumped and then would walk down to the NICU and take her the milk. We had to ask to see her and ask to hold her. It was so frustrating when they said “no you can’t hold her” or “only for 30 min then you have to put her back”. The only thing we got to do was hold her hand through a piece of glass. Getting told that they don’t know when she will be sent home. Hearing her oxygen monitor or heart rate monitor go off and on and getting scared that something is wrong. Dealing with asshole nurses that treated us less cause we were “young” and then you have to leave and put your trust into them to take care of your baby. Everyday got more frustrating and harder, getting more attached everyday and scared that the next day something bad is going to happen and she has to stay longer. Feeling angry but happy for the people we watched their baby getting discharged wishing it was us. After those long 20 days, we finally got to bring her home and I swear it was the happiest day of my life. But the worrying never stopped, worried she would stop breathing or get sick and have to go back. I always think it’s just 20 more days I had with her💜

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Hazel Grace Marie

She was 4lbs 4oz at birth. (34 weeks)

Now. (Almost 4 months)

Comment below your NICU stories❤️