Help anyone... this has to be the most devastating experience I've had personally...

I went into the doctor last Tuesday, 5/21/19 for an unrelated issue. While I was there the doctor decided to just do a transvaginal ultrasound. He said he saw a fetal pole and that I the fetus measured at 5wks 1dy. I felt he was rough and when I got home I started bleeding. I only bled when I peed but it was red.

I went back to OB and saw a different doctor Wednesday 5/22. She did another ultrasound and sent me for HCG level testing. She didn't see anything in uterus. My levels were very low at 486.

I returned to ER Thursday 5/23 for pain and still little to no bleeding. Still only bleeding when I peed and passing no clots. They tested my HCG levels again and they'd dropped slightly. The ER did an ultrasound and saw no fetus in uterus and fluid outside the uterus. They were concerned that it was ectopic but sent me home saying too early to tell.

I went home and returned to ER yesterday, Friday 5/24 for pain, no bleeding. My HCG levels had increased to above 500 but were still low. The OB on-call doctor came to my ER room and said she didn't see a fetus in the uterus and couldn't confirm weather it was ectopic or not. She said that we could've waited to see if the numbers kept increasing. But she said if it was in my tubes it could be dangerous. She said otherwise I'd probably just miscarry. But said they could do D&C, to see if there was fetus tissue in my uterus to confirm there was no ectopic pregnancy and if no fetus tissue found they'd do the laparoscopy to see if it was in tubes.

They didn't see tissue in uterus and did laparoscopy while I was still unconscious. They ended up saying they didn't find fetus in tubes either and that it is probably just too small to see.

So they gave me 2 injections of a chemotherapy type drug to force my body to abort and sent me home. Now I'm home in lots of pain, not bleeding at all. Wondering if I made the right decision? Should I have forced my body to abort? What if there was a small chance that the numbers would've kept increasing and the pregnancy was viable? Is it too late? How do I know when or if I passed or will pass my baby?

I just want this part to be over... 😭😭😭😔😔😔