Hello all,

My husband and I have been together 8 years, married two. We were only married for about 6 months when we got the news that it may be harder for us to have children as I was diagnosed with pcos, Adenomyosis and endometriosis. I had a lap done in 11/2017. Before this stuff started my husband and I were happy. We joked and we were the gushy couple that make everyone around us sick with how well we clicked. He genuinely was my best friend. Once we were told we should begin trying something flipped.

My husband became distant, withdrawn and colder. He blamed it on the fact that he didn't like being told what to do and that we should be trying for kids. I asked him if he wanted kids. He said of course but I wanted to just let it be. If it happens it happens. I agreed we did 6 months of just well see. Nothing. Then Dr suggested assistance with meds. 5 months of that and nothing. He finally agreed to semen analysis and it came back my husband had 0 sperm. None. Needless to say it was rough. He wanted to just ignore it. It was pulling teeth to get him to be intimate with me before this news. And not just sex. Sitting near me. Holding my hand. Hugging me. I wanted affection so bad and no matter how much I brought it up he just kept finding reasons to deny my the simply pleasure of just feeling close.

I took alot of blame. After we took some time off. I told him it was time to talk. I couldn't understand how he felt 100% but I can sympathize with the loss. It's happening to me too. I told him we have options for donor, adoption, embryo adoption or we can continue with testing for him and see maybe they can extract sperm.

No matter what I suggested it was like we hit a road block. I love him so I'm trying to be patient. But he always is so quick to say no to things. I want to be a mom. I want to experience pregnancy. I told him I would give up being pregnant and adopt if that is what hed be most happy with. He just said he isn't sure. He finally agreed to more tests but everytime it comes to it he tries to cancel or give a reason why it's not worth it. It's expensive, it's not gonna work, we should wait it out.

The more time goes on the more my gut tells me he doesn't want this. He has withdrawn any intimacy from me. A few months back I recommended a break and separation and counseling. He made every promise to go to therapy, try harder, be present and honest. It lasted a week and then back to the normal coldness. We celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary and it was like hugging a corpse. Idk what to do. I don't want to live this way. I get it of we were still actively trying. I see posts all the time that men withdraw because it's too much pressure. But that's not the case. We can't get pregnant natural.

He's not taking the steps the Dr recommended. No smoking, no more energy drinks, change underware, eat healthier.

I just want to feel love. The last few weeks all I think about is leaving. Not leaving the man I fell in love with , but the man that I see now. Is this a phase? How can I continue to fight when the other person just shows no initiation. I get a response if I don't talk to him. We went 5 days last week where we merely said hello and goodbye before he initiated a hug and asked what's wrong.

Sorry that was long winded.... Anyone have any advise?