4.5 month he has gotten my breast milk. We started with no latch and no sucking and I exclusively pumped for 2.5 months. I’ve had idk how many clogged ducts and clogged pores... finally got him to latch. It was a poor latch he never has taken my nipple deep enough. So I’ve kept trying still after two months latch is still crap. Latch is painful most of the time, red and bruised. But I kept on. I’ve been back to work now for almost two months and he is starting to refuse the boob. I’m done. I can deal with everything else but I can’t make him take the boob. He will pop on and off feed for a little bit then want to quite bc my let down has finished and he doesn’t want to work for another one.

I never really enjoyed bf. I just did it for him bc of allll the amazing benefits. But I can’t anymore. I don’t want to go back to pumping I hated that too. Going to slowly decrease my pumping and finish off my frozen supply.

I feel defeated and I’m mad at myself. I’ve wanted to quit soo many times but this time is different. I am so thankful that at least we got this far and that there is formula.

It hurts even more bc this will be my one and only child.

Best of luck to everyone with their bf journey.

Thanks for reading.