I know I am loved, cared for and appreciated. But I still think about ways I could end it all. Or if I just up and left and disappeared. Im not going to, but I think about it. I'm tired of the way my life is going, change is very difficult.

Havn't gone to therapy because I do not want anyone to find out about how I really feel. Same reason I have not talked to anyone. I know too many judgy people. I would just get lectured.

Thanks for reading. I needed to get my thoughts out there. Maybe if I start journaling it could help.