Dad -a message that was never sent

Hailey • Fifteen

Last night I lied awake, staring at the ceiling above me while the thoughts in my mind ran blank. For once in my life the thoughts finally stopped for a few Minutes and I laid there in peace. I then started thinking about you. all the shit you put me through throughout the years. How I can’t help but think of you when I first wake up in the morning and before I go to sleep. I know for a fact that I don’t even run through your mind once. Now as I laid there, in my dark bedroom, tears rolling down my face I Think that right now you are enjoying your perfect little family of three you’re enjoying your life and I’m hating everything about mine. You never even reached out to me it’s like I don’t even exist to you anymore. me and my sister are so sick of it. We just want a father figure. we just want you. Is it so hard to ask To have a father? We just want you to be here for us make us feel like we’re not completely worthless. Just remind us that just because you don’t love us that doesn’t mean boys won’t. Throughout this pain I have realized that There’s one thing I want to thank you for. Thank you for showing me what not to look for in a relationship. I know how this pain feels and I will never treat my children or my spouse the way you treated me and my sister. I will not search for the terrible qualities you have in being a man when I want to date. Pain is taught me that not everyone is going To love you to love you, even if it’s the person that supposed to love you most.