But watching my first born now knowing she won’t be my youngest, my small baby is getting me extremely emotional. She’s become so naughty lately, biting and hitting and tantrums, but I hate being mad at her I feel so guilty because I feel like she’s not going to feel as loved or wanted. I’m probably being stupid but she really is always my little baby and I am so incredibly proud of how clever she is and how beautiful she is, despite her wicked tantrums she’s always been so eager to learn, walking from 8 months with no stopping her and always ALWAYS wiggling her butt and her head to music. I love her so much and I will love all my children equally but she is my first real love and I will always see her as that little baby in distress from labour who finally popped her head round that blue screen and gave me a great big cry and the biggest weight of my shoulders knowing she was okay ❤️ we lost a baby last year through MMC and I’m so desperate to have another but I hate to see her not be my littlest girl 😭❤️