This pregnancy has been an absolute rollercoaster. First we finally get a positive I was on top of the world I was so happy but i began to worry a bit because I had no symptoms at all so I made my appointment to go see a doctor I gave a urine sample it came back positive they also drew blood. I had to go in for my ultrasound now here is where it all begins to be a bit strange.

They initially thought I was about 8 weeks but after seeing the ultrasound results there was just no way unless I had a miscarriage because there was nothing not even a sac. They checked my cervix it was closed and I had no bleeding at all.

They kept an eye on my hcg which was going up and eventually did another ultrasound when they called me back for my results it was good news there was a sac but no yolk so it could mean no baby or just really early and the dates were off. So I was asked to wait some more for another ultrasound and finally the next appointment came up and guess what there was a baby ! With a heartbeat! Yay! So I was finally able to schedule my very first prenatal appointment and I was measuring about 6 weeks 3 days .

The day of my appointment came up and finally I was able to see my little blob and even hear its heart I was relieved UNTIL my doctor said that the baby really hadn't grown much and the heartbeat was low and she wanted to see me again in a couple of days. Fast forward to yesterday and I had my ultrasound which took longer than normal and the tech seemed to be having a hard time which got me worried and I felt this gut wrenching feeling that my baby just wasn't there anymore. I was right..they called me back and just flat out said I'm really sorry but there was no heartbeat and the baby has still not grown so it appears to be a missed miscarriage. I couldn't even cry. They went over options but I really couldn't make a decision yet. So this is it my first baby gone and I never will get to see it or hold it and there's nothing I can do about it. I feel so stupid for even allowing myself to get so happy about it.