Speculum and cervix Test hurt.

I was molested when i was 14 and ever since then when ever i get a Pap smear it hurts like shit. How I’m 18 and pregnant and when ever they check me down there i cry uncontrollably and tense up so much it puts me in more pain then i have to be. I’m only 17 weeks and have a long way to go .. any advice on how to find a zone or happy space where i can just stop freaking out