We have been together for 8 and a half years, I met him when I had just turned 18 and no previous experience of relationships. It’s was great for a year or so then we went on holiday and showed me his really nasty( drunk) side. I was so baffled as it came out of nowhere after he had been looking through my phone while I was asleep. Carried on the holiday and life as normal until a year after that I looked through his phone, found out at the time of the holiday the pervious year he had been messaging and receiving nudes from his ex. He completely denied it. Then the mental abuse started. He knows I hate confrontation and he’s so cruel. I have depression to so some days even getting out of bed is hard and he calls me a lazy cunt. I struggle to hold down a job and feel terrible for not pulling my weight but the way he talks to me is horrible. Sometimes he’s lovely but I’m honestly fed up with dealing with him especially when he’s had a drink( every night he has at least 4 beers)

I feel like I’m walking on eggshells and I do feel like I deserve to be treated with dignity.

What makes this all worse is that I do desperately want a baby, we have been trying for 3 years and I just think if I leave then I’ll never meet anyone who will want to be with me and I’ll never have children.

End of rant. Probably a load of words that don’t make sense but they need to come out.