Feeling disappointed in my body....
So today I had my 39 wk/pre op apt. I'm due September 29th and hoping for a Vbac but if my body doesn't go into labor on its own then I'll be having a repeat section on October 2nd... I really don't want another section, the first one (10 yrs ago) was traumatizing. It was an emergency and I ended up put to sleep under full anesthesia... I didn't get to hear my sons first cries or be the first one to hold him. I felt like a failure!!!
At today's apt I was still only 2.5 cm dilated and 50% effaced (have been that way since 37wks)... It feels like my body has made more progress than that in the past week but nothing...... I'm due in 5 days and I've been trying everything to help my body... Walking, sex, EPO orally and vaginally, bouncing on yoga ball.... But I feel like I'm just gonna end up in another c section and my body has failed again :( I know most of my feelings are just hormones but it's really disappointing... My boyfriend was really sweet and told me to be proud of my body for growing a healthy baby the past 9 months but I just can't kick this feeling...
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