please no judgment I just need maybe advice? Or maybe encouraging idk..So a little backstory, when I was some terrible things did happen to me that I tend to block out but one particular is when I was 16 (I’m currently 18 soon to be 19) I was drugged and raped at a party. I never told anybody, I was drunk and my birthday was the next day so we were out celebrating and I just brushed it off,threw up,cried in the bathroom,then got more drunk when I got home and went on to have my birthday. It has haunted me for a very long time and still does of course. Fast forward to now I have always just brushed it off and ignored it and I’ve been in a loving relationship with my husband for two years now, I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant with a beautiful baby girl but ever since I got pregnant all these memories keep popping up for some reason and during my pregnancy, I have actually caught him talking to his ex and cheating about 3 months into our relationship then about 3 months into my pregnancy he was talking to his ex again. I chose to continue our relationship after we broke up for a few months in the beginning of our relationship and everything was going well till now. So of course him doing me wrong I completely lost any interest in having sex and I’ve been dealing with depression for the past month now in my pregnancy (yes i had depression before my pregnancy, I’ve struggled with it since I was 12) well recently I was finally in the mood and decided I wanted to have sex so we decided too,not even 3 minutes in I completely starting bawling my eyes out and I mean sobbing,howling,whatever describes the most intense pain of crying that was me and I started having the worst anxiety attack to were I couldn’t even breathe..it completely traumatized me honestly and ever since then I haven’t been able to stop crying...I don’t know what to do...has anyone else experienced this (the crying part) it took me about 10 min to catch my breathe and call down. I just don’t know what to do anymore and idk if it’s because he hurt me or I’m so emotional cause of my hormones or the fact that maybe something he did during sex reminded me of that night.