How can I encourage husband to be more positive?

Question

I feel like my husband complains about EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. His boss, the guy that stood behind him in line, grocery shopping, birthday parties, swimming, going for a walk, work, co-workers etc literally anything and everything. It drives me nuts. But I feel like if I say something he’ll feel like he can’t vent to me, which I know he NEEDS to do. Buts it overwhelming. I’d like to just say “if it’s not a positive comment I don’t want to hear it!” 😂😂 but I know that won’t help and he’ll probably just go mute. How can I encourage him to be more positive and complain less but not sound like I’m putting him down or like he can’t come to me with an issue?

Answer

My husband kind of had a talk with me about this; I had a horrible job where the majority was negative all the time, so it was understandable, but it’s hard if all you EVER hear is negativity from the person you love - I get it. I left that job and got this AMAZING job - I really lucked out. Still, you have good days and you have bad days, and I must’ve had a few bad days in a row because when I was telling him what happened that day, he said that everything always starts out happy and great, and then as time goes on I always just find the negatives in it...I countered and said that was my day, what am I supposed to tell him? And he said he still wants to hear about it, and lives listening to me and being there for me no matter what, but he needs to hear positives too. Since that conversation I have REALLY been striving to find more positives (which there are always a ton of!!), especially if that was a more negative day. 
Maybe having a convo like this would help!

Answer

I would tell him how you’re feeling and just watch your tone and how you say it. My partner and I check each other all the time. We’ve been together for 15 years though so we don’t sugar coat shit with each other. Tell him it’s fine to vent and get the negatives off his mind but also find positive things about his day to tell you. Sometimes pointing out things from another perspective helps. You never really know what someone else is going through in their lives - and sometimes those people come off as jerks or rude.

Answer

My husband occasionally goes through these moods. I always listen and sympathize with him. I also am really good at turning most things into a positive. It can drive some people crazy! Since I’ve been pregnant I’ve noticed I can be a little more harsh with my comments. If its a complaint that seems small to me I have said aren’t you just a ray of sunshine today😂

How can I encourage husband to be more positive?

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