Not enjoying sex

I started having sex at 18 and with my first sexual partner I never orgasmed but I was always very close he just came too fast and obviously didn’t care about me. After things ended with him, I went a very long time without sex and then I found someone new. He could last for a very long time and is the only person who has ever made me orgasm during sex. We’ve been on and off and now that we’re back together I don’t enjoy sex as much. When we were off, I was constantly comparing my other sexual partners to him. Basically everyone was underwhelming to me. We still have sex on the weekends and I look forward to it, but I feel like maybe I’m lacking sensitivity or something is blocking me down there. It’s not painful, but I don’t enjoy it. It’s almost like I’m numb sometimes. I feel everything happening but it doesn’t make me feel good or bad. He loves giving oral and even that doesn’t do it for me. I’ve started to just let sex be about him because I feel like I won’t cum anyway. I fake my orgasms/moaning most of the time. I’m super anxious about saying anything and even if I had the courage I don’t know how to bring it up. I can orgasm on my own through clitoral stimulation. I don’t know what it is but I would love to enjoy sex more. Any advice/tips would be helpful.