First a back story. We have a 7yo and I’m due any day now with our second. We’ve been together for 10 years. 3 years ago I suspected him of drug use and made him take a test. He failed of course. I made him leave until he went and got help, I was around that growing up and I didn’t want my child to experience what I had. He gets help and everything is going great, until now.

A little less than a month ago we decided that we had to move before baby #2. Out of no where he stops helping around the house. With all the things that needed to be done, I couldn’t get him to do a thing to help me which was very unlike him. At 8 months pregnant I was doing everything by myself while working full time and taking care of our 7yo who was in baseball at the time. I had multiple talks with him that I needed his help and he wasn’t budging. When he wasn’t at work he was sitting on the couch or running around. He would get angry when i would ask for help.

Now that we are finally moved in I noticed the same thing happening. Still not himself, not doing a thing. This afternoon when he left for work I drug tested the urine in the toilet. We are the only ones that use that bathroom and he didn’t flush. Judge me. I don’t want my children growing up like I did. It came back positive for oxy and coke. I still haven’t told him and I’m not sure how to go about it.

I know he will try to deny everything. He will try to blow up and turn it around on me. How can I trust this man who has been in my life for so long and would risk everything for a fucking fix? We are due to have a baby any day now!! We have a child already that needs him. I just don’t understand.