I was addicted to crystal meth for about 3 years.. i would snort it to the point my nose would be bleeding and I'd still be trying to snort smfh..I lost everything, what hurt the most after my husband took my kids away from me until I got better..was that my dad was the one supplying my habit and till this day nobody knows that.. I began to strip to support my habit and always made well over 500-900 a night working for a stripper company, I would start at 6pm and work till 5am or longer the next day.. I would secretly take clients numbers and see them myself without the company so I can profit all the money.. dangerous, stupid, but it made more money.. My dad knew but he didnt care, because I was one of his customers..not his child. I wouldn't get any product for free and he knew I wouldn't take it for free, I always paid for it. I would be high 5-7days straight fully awake no sleep and hallucinating..then I would crash for 2 days straight.. then back again to the same cycle..I dont know how I did it. .I wasnt eating I was down to 100lbs and I'm 5'8 it didn't look good. .but I always kept up with myself, I showered, stayed clean and wouldn't leave without a full fresh face of makeup. It was part of my lifestyle..I had to look good. Long story short.. I started to miss my kids more than anything.. but I wasnt allowed to see them because of the obvious..so I finally surrendered and ended up going to a womens shelter for domestic violence victims, where I lived for a year. I sobered up, I was drug tested every 3days, I went to school and got medical certification to work in the medical field.. my husband and I got back together he is my biggest support.. I got my kids back, I have my life back.. but I struggle with depression and my past still haunts me.. it's weird you would think once all is good you would be happy.. but sometimes its hard.. what keeps me sober is watching intervention programs on A&E or youtube.. I watch how addiction takes over people and ruins them.. how it hurts their family.. and I cry watching it. . Because i feel so guilty i put my kids through the memory of me being absent. They never seen me on drugs, but i missed out on 3 years of their life.. that's enough to affect them.. idk I'm having a hard day today feeling worth it.. I'm currently a SAHM pregnant with a baby due real soon. I just want to feel like I'm enough and that my past doesnt define me as a person..that my husband doesnt see that when he looks at me..hes amazing and supportive I just doubt everything..these demons are trying to win. . If you made it this far, thank you for reading.. any encouragement would help.. thanks.