I had my son a week ago, and while I had family around me I felt okay.

Now that everyone is gone, I feel alone. I know I have my son, and I love him more than the whole world. I love cuddling with him and even when I'm exhausted in the middle of the night I still feel better holding him.

Yet I've experienced huge losses, and I currently cant give myself time to relax. My husband is able to sleep through the night despite the crying, and I cant. My son is breastfed and cant take a bottle so there is really no point for my husband to have to suffer with sleep deprivation as well because honestly that will just stress us both out and probably hurt our relationship.

I love my husband ten fold since our son was born, yet I still feel alone.

I lost my mother, father, and daughter in 2018, and I just cant help but feel impending doom almost all the time. I cant help but feel like something is going to go wrong at any moment.

I feel like I am not doing good enough at breast feeding since he lost 5oz from birth and I KNOW that it is normal since babies have amniotic fluid in them at birth and they lose that and they lose weight but I still feel like I may be starving him or doing something wrong.

He has a little bit of eye crust and sometimes he spits up and i cant help but feel like something is wrong with him when there isnt..

I hate feeling this way, and feeling alone..

Especially now that my family is trying to buy me into selling my dog.. my father in law told us that we just have to give him a price and he will pay it if we will get rid of my dog.. my dog is a good dog but he thinks I cant handle a dog a newborn especially since my husband is going to be going back to work soon and he said to "think about what is best for my son" and it really sucks.. I dont want to get rid of my dog and since then my husband has let it get to him and he is starting to shun out our dog.. his father is a snake and knew exactly what he was doing when he planted it in my husband's head that our dog is dirty and too much to be around a newborn..

I'm just venting I guess.. i dont have any legitimate friends anymore so i dont have an actual person to vent to that isnt my husband..