Lately I’ve been feeling so down. Everyone around me is so happy in their relationships but then there’s single me wanting to hangout with my friends but oh wait I can’t anymore because they’re always with their boyfriends.

I’ve been so heartbroken that it took me 2 years to get over my ex, and yes I’ve dated but not to where I fell for them.

I used to be the nicest person.

Used to say sorry for everything even when it wasn’t my fault. Now the person I used to be, there is no sign of her. I completely went numb for 3 months and then I fell for someone but he ended up breaking my heart, never dated though but.

Anyways now here I am nobody to go to anymore.

I got out of the numbness part over a year ago but I’m to the point where I’m about to go back. But I’m scared if I do and then I meet someone that makes me feel like I want to be here again.

I also want to go back numb though because I don’t think my heart can take this and you can’t break someone’s heart if you don’t have one right?

I’ve tried everything honestly. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m so lost. I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay but no matter how hard I try to be okay it always seems like it gets worse.

Ik holding onto hope hurts but I’m honestly so tired of trying..