I had an abortion scheduled for this morning. I walked into the surgical room and started to cry. They pulled me aside and knew I wasn’t ready. They wouldn’t operate and sent me home. Now I must make another appointment for another day. I’m so scared I have to do this again. I’m 10 weeks now. I’m scared of the emotional toll. I’m scared of the procedure. I’m scared God will forsake me. I’m scared of so much.

I need advice. I have no one to talk to about this. My partner and I are not in the right place in life to care for a second baby. We already have one. We just bought a house, I moved overseas, we both live on his small income.. I have heart failure.. there’s so much in my head right now.

My partner is a marine. He got to be home to take me to this appointment but not the next one. He will be gone all week. So this means his mother will need to take me and that also terrifies me. I won’t have his support and I’ll be home alone all week after recovery.

My anxiety about the procedure is unreal. I’ve never had anything done. I even opted for a natural delivery with my daughter because I was too scared to use medicine or the epidural.

I need someone to help calm me down!!