I usually don’t talk about my personal business but I would like some insight from some older women.

So I’m 21 years old my bf of 5 years & 8 months also 21. We have a 2 1/2 year old son, we stay together & also buying a car together. I work one job & he work 2 plus our son is in daycare. In the beginning of our relationship he used to text girls wasn’t nothing serious. Until he left for college & this when the baby came I went out there for one of his breaks & found out he was talking to a girl that went to school with us. The girl lies saying it wasn’t her typical child but it started getting worst he kept talking to her she gave him oral but they never had sex. She started calling me private messaging me saying how my son ugly all kind of hurtful things. He told her leave us alone she keyed his car & went crazy. I understand why because he lead her on I don’t fault her I fault him I will NEVER fight behind no man but when you put my child in it that’s another story. It’s been a year since we’ve heard from her but I found out while I was in the hospital he went seen her AFTER our son was born I was just soo torn & I’m still is. I say all that to say this I’m happy but I’m Not. It’s like the love there but I just don’t know. This situation bring me down every time I think about it. I say do myself over & over that I’m soo stupid from staying. I don’t be in the mood to have sex anymore I feel like you gave what was mines away. He gets so mad when I tell him no or we don’t have sex it’s not exciting to me anymore. Don’t get me wrong it’s good when we do it’s just that I don’t have the drive for it. Then he want me to please him but I feel as though you get you give. We don’t communicate we always mad at each other sometimes I don’t feel appreciated. He always asking what’s wrong what he need to do, don’t get me wrong he will go a mile for me he also wanna marry me but I feel betrayed. I never got the proper I’m sorry I never got closure. He changed his number a lot of times got a new car moved & everything for me but idk I always say we need to talk to somebody. He trying he really is never once looked at a girl or nothing he stays home he always making me go with him so I can see he doing right. The trust there but it’s like my mind somewhere else. I wanna be with him I’m not looking for another relationship I just need to fix me I need CLOSURE. Idk how will I get it.

Sorry it’s soo long but this was long over due I never talk to anyone about it.