So let me start off by saying I’m not happy about my choices, but I feel like I’m not complete bad person for doing it.

Let’s take this back to May 2018, my now ex and I were dating. My dad (god rest his soul) was a month away from passing when he came into our lives. My ex was amazing. He was amazing with my dad, in our relationship, to my children and to his son. Skip to July 2018 my dad passed and my ex was my anchor through it all. Stayed with me and took off work the entire week to help my family. Mind you he was there the day my dad died. My dad died in his arms. I start to shut down because my dad was my best friend and I took care of him with my mom for the last year of his life. Yes I closed off to everyone including my ex. So my ex basically starts picking fights and I find out he hit his ex up for sex while he was out of town for work. I found out a month after it all happened. I forgave him and continued to try and make things work. In December I talked to two different guys. Not in a relationship way. One was a friend and we were talking about catching up and the other one was just harmlessly flirting. I don’t think much of it because I am in love with my ex and my heart is only set on him. My ex loses it and tells me that I’m this horrible person and I’m screwing up our relationship. I apologized and immediately cut ties with the guys. Mind you we never hung out we just casually spoke. But two months before that he couldn’t go through with sleeping with his ex. Now February 2019 rolls around and we take a break. He told me he spoke to someone for 3 days. And that it wasn’t what he wanted. He tried to work on us and he got really weird on St. Patrick’s Day and I ended things. That night I went out and slept with someone else, and I told him because I felt bad because he supposedly came to my house to make up for how he was acting. Well the next few months have been rocky and trying to fix things. Well I find out two weeks ago he has been seeing me and another female since March. Mind you we have been together for a year now. She contacted me apologizing because she didn’t know either. I don’t blame her for it. She was played as I was. He apologized and want to make it work me being so in love with him I said you broke a lot of trust but let’s see if you can make it up. So he continued to act shady and once again broke it off with me so being single I hung out with one of my good friends and we had sex. I’m single at this point. Next day my ex apologized for treating me shitty and I told him what I did and I became the biggest piece of shit to him. I’m like yes I had sex with two different people while I was single during the times you continued to leave me. But it was okay for him to have an entire other relationship and sleep with someone else for four months. Oh by the way the future we talked about having he shared with her and tried passing it as theirs and even went to her house on my deceased fathers motorcycle and tried passing out off as his but I’m told I’m the horrible person and I destroyed this relationship. I was faithful to this man the entire time we were together. The times we were not together I went out and enjoyed my adult time. And the two guys I slept with are actually genuinely nice people who have done nothing but support me and cheer me on during my really bad times. I just want to know if I’m a bad person for what I did? I don’t think I am. And I’m not saying I didn’t make poor choices and I’m not happy about what has happened but for someone to turn it around on me seems a little far fetched when he was juggling two different families basically.