My Husband and I met on Facebook back in 2017. He was in a 10 year marriage and I have never been married. He’s 33 I’m 29. He lives on the East Coast with 2 kids and I lived on the West Coast.

We met and got engaged within a year. Because of his kids I decided to uproot my life and move to him. We bought a house. I moved my business out there.

Long story short my business didn’t take off as expected. Money issues became a big problem. We were struggling. I tried working for a minimum wage and even tried college and I just couldn’t get over my previous blessed career I had going for me in my home town. I totally downgraded to the bottom of bottom. The town I moved too was complete poverty.. crime.. nothing like I thought it was going to be. (Yes I should have done more research)

Not only was money an issue me adjusting to the East Coast was miserable. Eventually we just couldn’t take the pressure of everything and I moved back to The West Coast.

We are still married.

Here is my question..

several people have told me

“You really aren’t in love with him if you didn’t feel like he was enough to keep you there and you left.”

How could that be? I love the shit out of that man even through all the struggles.. but does that mean I stay and be miserable because he is there?

Just like how he would be miserable if he had to leave his kids to live with me.. does that mean he doesn’t love me since he’s not giving up his kids to move forward? Why should anyone have to give up anything? To declare their love?

I have important things in my life too. My feelings matter too.. my thriving business with my wonderful appreciative clients matter to me. My family matters to me.

Right now we have decided to have a long distance marriage for now until we eventually figure something out which really doesn’t seem like a bad idea to me. Having everything separated actually gives me comfort considering the traumatic stress of not being able to make money and never affording anything.

I don’t know I need some clarity..