I am only shy of my 3-month anniversary with my boyfriend. This is both our first relationship, and it’s going amazing.

As one can infer, I’ve never been in a relationship, but I am terrified of cheating. He’s a pretty trustworthy guy (a true gem, and can I say just beautiful and magnificent inside and OUT whew!), but I have and feel like I will always have doubts. I tend to prepare for the worst with practically anything, and I try to come up with possible solutions to handle whenever something goes wrong. When it comes to my relationship and the thought of cheating, frankly, I can’t come up with anything. I can’t prepare for the just in case, and it TERRIFIES me. I constantly worry about if he’d cheat and what I’d do (he’s a gem 💎, many ppl like gems), but I’m not satisfied with any possible outcome, so I keep thinking.

I’m leaving soon, and this is going to be the first time I am away. As you can tell from the above, the cheating anxiety is on a hunnitttt. We’ve talked about it, and I told him that if he ever lost interest or he just doesn’t want to be with me, to just tell me instead of hurting me. He said he’d never do such a thing because of morals/what his family has gone through.

I just really want to trust him—to put my mind at ease and to truly absorb all the love and mushiness as possible, but trusting is hard. Especially in this “men ain’t shit”, side-chick/dude empowering, STIs, men killing their wives to “start fresh” climate. LMAO how tf do y’all do this?