Sexual abuse

So me as a 4 year old little girl I was raped by my moms husband multiple times I finally told her when I hit 12 she of course didn’t believe me and he beat me till I apologized.....is it weird when I say that I can feel when a man is like that just by being around them and a lot of people say I’m paranoid because I have a 4 month old daughter with my husband but I don’t trust anyone to babysit her not even the boys in my husbands family or mine because sometimes family members are that way too