I can’t do this crap no more! 😞😞

I’m sick to death of having shitty pcos!!! I’m sick to death of my periods being so late that I actually think I’m pregnant just to have it all whipped away, im 18 days late today, I thought today was the day I would get a positive test.... it’s negative again 😢 I haven’t stopped crying since half nine this morning, I want to know why me? I’ve had soo much shit in my life, being lied to, cheated on and beaten and now this, someone up there doesn’t want me to be happy, I don’t think I ever will be if I never have a child. I’m feel so sad,down and alone 😪😪😪😪