Is it okay to cut ties with your family? 💔

Question

I need someone to tell me it's okay to cut ties with my family? 😔😔 It's hard, I want to be able to make peace with all of them but why if I'm the only one trying???🤦‍♀️I grew up with my all my cousins from my dads side. He has 11 siblings including him its 12. So our family is HUGE. 
Anyway long story short we are the only ones who moved 2 hrs away when I was 18. So we hardly go to see family and go to their family birthday parties & events. Over the years I felt everything seemed different not only were we living apart but we were growing apart as well. So there is alot of miscommunication. On top of that my family is big on drinking and partying. But we started going to church and my dad became a Minister he is a changed man now. He is done with the drama, partying, the drinking, the drugs, and cheating on my mom and he gave his life to the Lord which is a whole different story but anyway back to my cousins I also feel like that's another reason why my cousins dont include my sisters and I anymore. They dont bother checking on us anymore. They dont visit or call and we are the ones to always go out to see them at family reunions and parties when we are able to. Fast forward to now lately I've been hearing my female cousins talking smack on me & my sisters. Saying we think we too good and Holy now. They mock my dad about becoming a minister & his new life changes (although he is changed and better than ever before). They dont seem happy for us. They say we need to come more often & constantly jumping on my throat about my bible verses posts on Facebook I got upset with one my cousins and told her that the door swings both ways and they are welcome to see us too. And whatever I post shouldnt affect her and if she had a problem with it to delete me if she doesnt like my "religion" as she calls it. This particular cousin told the rest of our cousins and exaggerated what I said. They all hate me now.

Saddest part now is that my little sister is getting married next month and she invited them all....come to find out one of my Male cousins is getting married in August. Which by the way we didnt get invited. Welllllll, it also turned out that his sister (also my cousin) decided to throw his fiance's a Bridal shower the SAME DAY of my sisters wedding!!!! 💔😭🤬🤬 so none of my cousins or family on dads are coming to my sisters special day. Except for some aunts and uncles. And I know it was done on purpose because they just decided on this a week ago. I am livid and just heart broken. I want to delete them all off social media. They dont even like any of my pictures anyway. (I know petty) I Just want to move on with my life with my husband and my 3 children with no part of that family but its hard to walk away when I grew up with them and at one point we were all so close. But this has been going on for a few years now. At family reunions I try to be the biggest person always. I hug each of them. At our grandpas funeral my sister and I sang a song to him & I also gave a speech about us needing to be close and reminded them that life is short and to love one another. Did it phase them? NO. Obviously they always have something negative to say so I just cant do it anymore, I didnt give them a solid reason for them to hate me or my sisters. Can anyone relate? Is it okay for me let it all go? It hurts..

Answer

Absolutely it is OK. Just because they're family by blood doesn't mean you have to be stuck with them

Answer

I have both my mother and my father completely blocked out of my life. For my own reasons of course but toxic is toxic and that is not good to be around.

Answer

I actually went through a similar circumstance growing up with my cousins. We grew apart because of drama and gossip that my family and I thought we were better because we go to church. Now I’m not so close to them anymore but I was able to make amends with a few. Some still don’t like us and deleted me off Facebook. It’s your choice if they’re causing a lot of stress in your life, yes remove them. But if you want to be a good example pray for them and ask God to help you through the storm. Hoping everything will be okay. 
P.S. even if no one shows up to your sisters wedding, don’t let it destroy you. Someone told me on my special day when things started out rough that “you are going to marry your best friend today, nothing else matters. This day is about you and him.”

Answer

It sounds like its time to sever ties.   Just because you're christian and 'love thy enemy' you do not have to get walked on--you can set boundaries.
Their behavior, their choice.
Their immaturity, their loss.
You won't ever be able to change their behavior--they have to choose (or life circumstances) will do that for them. 
Give it 20+ years and then see. 
Blessings.

Answer

Absolutely is okay to do. Kind of sucks but if it's for the better then it's absolutely okay! I, obviously, had a different situation but had to cut ties with my "mom" and her side of my family. I haven't talked with her since I was 18. I am so glad and my life has improved so much! They weren't invited to our wedding and they will never meet our children when we have kids. Took awhile for me to feel okay about it but now I do not regret it at all!

Answer

I think because you are a believer in Christ that you should do what Christ would do rather than doing what your human nature wants you to do. I think if you go against your belief system, you will end up regretting it. The Bible is clear on this subject.....that if you are following Christ, it’s not unusual for people including your own family to despise you for it. I understand that you’re angry and I would be too, but I think you know in your heart that cutting them off isn’t the solution. 
Also, be careful where you seek counsel. The majority of people on here don’t share your beliefs and are going to tell you to do the human/fleshy thing. Your dad is a minister and he’s dealt with issue for years it seems. I think you should talk to him or seek answers from the scriptures.

Answer

It's completely natural that you would grow apart while they all remained tight.  They are still there for each other for the "day to day" things, so you can't waltz in after months have passed and expect everything to be like it used to. Everyone grows and changes, but they notice your changes more because they don't see you often. 
What is not normal is for them to be mean about it, and for that I think it's ok for you to keep your distance and only keep in touch for major family things. 
I went through this when I went away for college, the first one in my family to do so, and they all told me I thought I was better than them and gave me the cold shoulder when I came to visit. 
We don't keep in touch anymore and sometimes that hurts, but I learned that family is the people who choose to be in your life, and choose you to be in theirs.

Answer

I cut my bio dad and that side of the family off. Best decision I ever made. It was hard and people got mad, but my mental health was more important than their opinions. You have every right not to let toxic people in your life. You don’t have to hate them or hold a grudge or anything. Just simply not involve them in your life.

Answer

I grew up with 15 cousins on my Mum’s side, was only close with three of them and I want nothing to do with them now. It was painful because I was close to them and looked up to them but now I’ve seen their true colours and they’ve done stuff that I can’t and won’t ever forgive them for, I would rather just not have the negativity in my life. If people only ever drag you down and aren’t good for you in any way then you’re absolutely right to cut them off and be happy without them. They’ve made their own choices, if they cared or wanted to be close with you then they wouldn’t be doing the things that they’re doing, they should be happy for you and your family.

Is it okay to cut ties with your family? 💔

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