Division of chores? SAHM to be wondering!

Question

Hi ladies! I’m currently almost 31 weeks with my first baby. We’ve decided that I’ll stay home with him.
 My husband expects me to do most of the cooking and cleaning and maintain the home during the week, and give me a break to nap when he gets home from work.
I’m also going to be the one waking up with baby at night. My husband will be sleeping in another room. He has PTSD and the baby suddenly crying and waking him up out of a dead sleep is not an option. 
Is this doable or am I going to go crazy? I think he has high expectations because his mother was a single mom who took care of her kids, cooked huge meals every day, and keeps the house so clean you could eat off the floor!!

Answer

I think it’s doable, but also I would hope he doesn’t get on your case if some things get left undone. I don’t know any mom who hasn’t let the dishes or laundry pile up at least ONCE! His expectations should remain reasonable. That’s great he’s gonna give you time to nap. I always feel bad asking to go take a nap. But my partner also helps with dishes and cleaning the house so it’s never all on me. I’ve very thankful.

Answer

I’ve been a sahm for 3 years now. I have two kids - 3 and almost 2. My husbands “chores” are mowing the yard and such outside. He takes the trash if I remember to ask, but I take it usually. And he has started cleaning up the table after dinner. If I get behind on stuff then he will gladly jump in and help me get caught up. But he works hard for our family, so I can stay home and take care of the kids and house. 
I was always up with the kids when they were smaller, he will get up sometimes now. I clean the house and cook dinner every night. It’s very doable - I expect him to help with the kids so I can cook dinner when he gets home. But he’s a great dad so I don’t even ever need to ask or worry about that.

Answer

It is doable - as long as on the weekend you divide the chores and he helps out. It is his house too so he should have to do some house and garden work. As well as helping with the baby ;)

Answer

Definitely doable! That's about how we divide things, except I don't do laundry or clean the bathroom. 🤣 Just be aware that you probably won't get anything done for at least the first couple of months, because your body will be healing. After that your schedule will still be dictated by the babies feeding and nap schedule, but you'll figure it out eventually. I recommend using a baby carrier or wrap to put baby in while you work.

Answer

It is totally doable. I was a SAHM when my kids were small. I had an 11 month old and a newborn. My kiddos are 11 months apart. My husband worked nights so he was zero help during the day or at night. I took care of the kids & managed the house. Nap when your baby is napping is my biggest piece of advice. Do the chores when your baby is awake.

Answer

Definitely doable. I’m a SAHM. My husband works night shift and a load of overtime each week. He has to sleep during the day, so I take care of meals/cleaning/etc and I’m all alone at night. Currently 33 weeks pregnant and I do all of the household work except for take out the trash. 
He does help out with our son when he’s awake, but many days during the week he’s only awake for only up to 2 hours with us. The weekends he will watch our son so I can go grocery shopping by myself. 
It’s a lot of work, but I don’t mind it. It’s what works for our families. He’s busting his ass working SEVERAL hard hours, I’m not going to make him come home and bust his ass here too. That part is my job. (He would, however, help with anything I asked.)

Answer

I'm a SAHM to a 2 yr old and 8 month old.
I do pretty much everything, although on his days off he will cook breakfast or dinner.
He also does the outside work such as gardening, mowing, taking the trash out etc. But I do alot of gardening too.

Answer

It's really nice that he's going to give you a nap when he gets home from work. I don't think that's the norm.

Answer

It’s doable. Have a daily schedule for yourself & divide up what needs to get down on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. I had a hard time with this when my daughter was a nb because I was sore, honestly really tired from being up the whole night with her, but your body & kind adjust after a while. I used to try to get literally everything done in a day or two, but I noticed I was just driving myself crazy... My husband helps with very minimal( he’ll take out the trash, do dishes once a month, cook a meal once a month.) although I was he’d help with more.
But as a stay at home mama it’s awesome how much we accomplish & what we can do throughout the day. We are cooks, cleaners, caretakers of our children, keepers of our home & so much more!

Answer

This is completely doable after you heal. He should help with grocery shopping, the deeper cleaning, and heavier lifting like laundry baskets the first 4-6 weeks though

Division of chores? SAHM to be wondering!

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