So I was sexually abuse once when I was 5 but never knew until I was married. Me and my husband were being intimate and I had a flash back of it and was like what the hell but I knew that something was off because I had always had the same dream about being raped but did not know why. So I have been married for 18 years now and me and my husband were both raised JW but I have always told him from the start that I have an attraction to women I always check women out when we go out more than men and now I recently had to have a historectmy and then found out that I have PCOS I am having like a mid life crisis and want to go out and be with a woman and he is ok with that because we have decided to end are marriage he wants to be with other women and so I feel like I am being selfish but I know that my family is going to freek out because they are all JW and I just don't want to uproot my whole life because of how I feel and I have felt like this my whole life .does anyone have any advice . also I have an old high school friend that said that I need to be who I am and I also have reprocessed that part of me my whole life because of the religious beliefs now I'm 37 And I want to be with a woman but don't get me wrong I love me some good dick but dam I love boobs I'm obsessed with my breasts .oh and because of the PCOS I have had hypesexualty like really bad I like need sex a lot witch is hard because we are trying to figure out things like he wants to go out with someone else from work but I told him that he can go out with her to get to know her .as long as we are still mearied that we can still have sex but that if he does it he better be safe but I fucking need it all the time and I also have a to fuck my self a bunch to and I have no friends that I can talk to about all of this because they are all JW .

Advice please 🙏🙏😁